Would’ve gave it all for you, cared for you, so tell me where I went wrong? – Halsey
What do you say to someone who has had their heart broken? How can something so simple as words make everything better for someone? The answer is they don’t. What can I possibly say to someone who has had their life turned upside down by someone they loved? No words in the history of the world can instantly fix someone, recently i’ve learnt this the hard way, seeing friends and people I truly care about going through things they never thought they would have to deal with. End games that are no longer end games…relationships ending before they’ve even started, questioning and doubting themselves because of the actions of others. I’m convinced I can fix people, that I can instantly make them better just by listening and saying the right things, but this isn’t how it works and sometimes you can’t mend people.
Break ups change people, they can shape us into a version of ourselves that we’ve never known before, things that were comforting and gave us joy can leave you feeling numb and empty, songs that once meant so much now mean nothing. How do you make this better? You turn to the people you love and trust but how much can they truly help you?
Recently, giving and taking advice has been a huge part of my life, being in situations that i’ve never been in before means turning to others for advice, in return i’ve had my closest group of friends also experience this and it is perhaps one of the hardest things to know you cant help them and make them instantly feel better. But does taking this advice help…because no one has been through the exact same break up, or the exact same experience and this can be more of a hinderance then a help.
I believe that if you want to be helped you have to begin by helping yourself, if your heart is broken it won’t begin to mend until you’re willing to move on. For as long as I can remember i’ve always been one of those people who thinks I can help you, I can fix that for you, I can be the one to make everything better for you, but what if I can’t? I’ve learnt that I can’t help people who don’t want my input, I can’t help those who don’t want to help themselves, words can’t mend someone, it’s like putting a plaster over a crack in the wall and pretending its fine.
I think turning to the people you love in your time of need is perhaps one of the best things, comforting words that ease your worries and make you feel less alone can make everything better, but we have to be willing to work on ourselves, because there is only so much you can do to fix someone.
Kelsey Sewell 